Embracing Good Grief
Books, poems, songs, and movies that can help us grieve.
We each vary in what brings comfort in times of grief—it’s a little about death, loss, and grief, and a lot about love. Here’s what has been meaningful to me.
Please add your suggestions in the comments, and I’ll update this list.
📚 Books
It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand — Megan Devine
The title says it all.
The Wild Edge of Sorrow — Francis Weller
Mythic and soulful approach to grief as initiation.
The Fault in Our Stars — John Green
Often labeled a “young adult” novel, I picked it up after hearing it recommended by Suleika Jaouad—and loved it.
We All Want Impossible Things — Catherine Newman
Two women have been best friends for a lifetime. Now one is dying. The book is heartfelt and lovely to read—not heavy, even though we know what will happen in the end.
The Year of Magical Thinking — Joan Didion
Didion was famous and well-connected when she lost her husband, yet her journey through the land of “magical thinking” is one many of us can recognize.
The Light of the World — Elizabeth Alexander
Poet of the 2009 presidential inauguration, Alexander writes movingly about reshaping meaning after the sudden loss of her husband.
Memorial Days: A Memoir — Geraldine Brooks
When Brooks’s husband suddenly dies, she has no time to grieve. Three years later, she travels to a remote island near Australia to finally face her loss. Just beautiful.
When Breath Becomes Air — Paul Kalanithi
A neurosurgeon faces terminal illness with profound humanity. (His wife finished the book for him.) Beautiful. Poignant. Real.
🎬 Movies
Departures (2008)
A Japanese film about the ritual care of the dead—tender and beautiful.
Come See Me in the Good Light (2025)
This documentary follows poet Andrea Gibson and their partner Megan Falley as they face Gibson’s incurable ovarian cancer with honesty, humor, and deep love.
🎵 Songs
“Keep Me in Your Heart” — Warren Zevon
Written while he was dying; quietly devastating. (I also love the version by The Wailin’ Jennys.)
“100 Years” — Five for Fighting
About living—while remembering we are also dying.
“By Way of Sorrow” — The Wailin’ Jennys
This one carried me through the first couple of months after losing my sister.
🎼 In a Classical Vein
Lux Aeterna (choral adaptation of Edward Elgar’s “Nimrod”)
A stunning requiem-like piece—fit for a queen. It was played at the memorial for Queen Elizabeth II. My favorite version is sung by Voces8.
“In Paradisum” — Gabriel Fauré
Agnus Dei by Samuel Barber
✨ Poems
“Love Letter from the Afterlife” — Andrea Gibson
A letter spoken from beyond to a beloved spouse.
“Because I Could Not Stop for Death” — Emily Dickinson
“In Blackwater Woods” — Mary Oliver
A gorgeous poem about letting go. (I read it at both my mother’s and my sister’s memorials.)
And a new poem I didn’t know, but just discovered as I was writing this post::
Above Everything — David Ignatow
I wished for death often
but now that I am at its door
I have changed my mind about the world.
It should go on; it is beautiful,
even as a dream, filled with water and seed,
plants and animals, others like myself,
ships and buildings and messages
filling the air -- a beauty,
if ever I have seen one.
In the next world, should I remember
this one, I will praise it
above everything.
If you have found something that comforts you in times of grief—a book, a poem, a movie, or a piece of music—please share it in the comments. We learn from one another.